Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
