I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
