you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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