Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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