just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
