You're so nebulous sometimes
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
