i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
