like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
