gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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