bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
