He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I'm really busy with my period
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