Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
the day after is always just damage control
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
