i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Less talking, more tequila
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Sorry about my life...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
