Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
