I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
