and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I said "one day" and that day is not today
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
