I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
