Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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