Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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