I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
