i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
