I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
