Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
