the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
We were destined to go to rehab together
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
