sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
