Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
