He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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