get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
