So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
