I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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