you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
