dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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