oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
