i don't want you to think of me as your TA
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
