we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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