I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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