No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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