So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
