It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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