my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
