im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just gift wrapped bread.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
