So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
then he tried to convert me to islam
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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