Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
