just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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