I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
