So drunk, too bad you don't want this
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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