Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
