Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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