I wanna bring you to show and tell
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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