Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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